Unfortunately, many couples put off seeking counseling until there’s a crisis or the wounds are so deep. So often, I have found couples often don’t even know what they’re fighting about or for. Instead, they are just reacting, finding themselves in a never-ending conflict cycle. Dr. Sue Johnson, a primary founder of Emotionally Focused Therapy, refers to this conflict cycle as the “dance”. Often one person pursues, hoping that this time they will reach their partner and communicate their pain, while the other one retreats feeling hopeless and helpless, maybe even wondering if they should give up. Helping couples to slow down and discover what they’re truly feeling underneath the anger, frustration and even tears can support each person to finally open up, communicate and be heard. Frequently, the miscommunications and conflicts can leave both people feeling unloved and unimportant – that is the true pain.

As couples face challenges in their lives, it is particularly painful when conflicts push them further apart. In therapy, it is my goal to help each individual to effectively communicate what he or she is actually feeling while developing empathy for the partner. It’s important to remember validation and empathy do not necessarily mean you agree with someone’s point of view, but simply that you understand and can accept what they are feeling and why. The aim is to help you find the connection that brought you together and remember why you are important to each other, as well as learn to short-circuit conflicts when they happen so that you can both find a way to be close once again!

For nearly 20 years, I have been conducting DUI evaluations. They are an important asset in a legal proceeding when you have been charged with driving under the influence. The type of report I prepare helps to humanize someone to the courts. It helps a prosecutor or judge to understand who they were up until the incident, what led to the arrest, as well as what they have been doing and reflecting on that demonstrates they are taking the charges seriously and learning from the incident.

Part of why I love doing this type of evaluation is having the opportunity to work with somebody who often wouldn’t normally walk into my office. I want to help them learn something new about themselves, whether it is how their past influences their decisions or how they could approach life differently to avoid unhealthy and possibly self-sabotaging behaviors. From the official evaluation to a new self-discovery, I want to help you learn more about yourself and your decisions.

As part of the forensic work that I have been involved in over the years, I have become certified as a Qualified Medical Examiner (QME) with the Division of Workers’ Compensation. A QME serves as a neutral party to understand the events surrounding a claimed injury to determine if an employee has sustained a work-related psych injury, has become disabled in any way and needs treatment for cases with and without legal representation. I received the certification as a QME in 2008 and have office locations in Central and Southern California.